SANNE, WEGRAKING OP HET STRAND

syncopeHet was een vroege lentedag, een zondagmiddag,  toen Sanne en haar vriend Sven besloten naar het strand te rijden om een uurtje aan zee uit te waaien. Veel tijd wilden ze er niet voor uittrekken want beiden hadden een drukke baan en er moest nog het één en ander voor de komende week voorbereid worden. Sanne, 30 jaar, docent Nederlandse Taal en Cultuur aan de Universiteit, had zich voorgenomen nog deze zondag werkopdrachten van haar studenten door te nemen, zodat ze voorbereid zou zijn voor de gesprekken, waarin ze in een aantal gevallen een bijsturing van literaire teksten zou voorstellen.

De korte wandeling op het strand deed haar goed, en ze besloten nog even wat te drinken op het terras. Later herinnerde zij zich niet meer wat er gebeurd was, wel besefte ze dat ze op de vloer van het strandpaviljoen lag met om zich heen Sven, personeel van het paviljoen, en een paar jongens van de Reddingsbrigade. Vrij snel was er een ambulance, met het doel Sanne naar het dichtstbijzijnde ziekenhuis te vervoeren. Maar dat vond Sanne niet nodig, want ze wist dat het om een wegraking handelde, waarmee ze al eerder te maken had gehad. Ze was zelfs een keer in een supermarkt in de flessen met tomatenketchup gevallen, maar al gauw weer naar huis gewandeld. Toch begon ze nu wel ongerust te worden, want het gebeurde te vaak. Ze had met haar huisarts een paar maal gesproken. Die had haar verschillende vragen gesteld en over mogelijke oorzaken voorgelicht.

Een wegraking is een plotseling en voorbijgaand verlies van het bewustijn als gevolg van een afname van de bloedstroom naar de hersenen. De meest voorkomende oorzaken zijn: flauwvallen, epilepsie en psychische verschijnselen, zoals stress. Stoornissen van de bloeddruk en hartaandoeningen, zoals hartritmestoornissen kunnen een belangrijke rol spelen. De huisarts besprak met Sanne de mogelijke oorzaken van de wegraking, haar bloeddruk was te hoog en soms had ze de indruk dat haar hart ‘oversloeg’. In het gesprek vertelde ze dat haar werk veel voor haar betekende, maar ook een sterke belasting vormde. Ze wilde uitblinken, haar kennis met enthousiasme overdragen, kortom ze stelde hoge eisen aan zichzelf en anderen, typisch perfectionistisch gedrag. Om haar klachten te verminderen kreeg ze medicijnen voorgeschreven, en ze werd gewaarschuwd, dat ze wat gas terug moest nemen, omdat anders een infarct niet onmogelijk zou zijn.

Sanne besefte, dat ze voor de arts een groot probleem verzwegen had, uit schaamte: ze wist, dat ze veel en vaak alcohol dronk, niet alleen samen met Sven, s’ avonds een paar glazen wijn. Ook overdag, en sinds kort al direct na het opstaan, greep ze naar de fles. Ze maakte zichzelf verwijten over haar drankgebruik, vond het onverdraaglijk, dat ze niet van de alcohol af kon blijven, ook al probeerde ze het door soms enkele dagen niet te drinken, maar steeds opnieuw viel ze terug. Dat overmatig  gebruik van alcohol mede een oorzaak van een wegraking kan zijn, wordt in recent onderzoek aangetoond, en wordt bij de anamnese in toenemende mate meegenomen. Sanne had zich daarover geïnformeerd, en begon zich af te vragen of niet het moment was gekomen professionele hulp in te roepen. Maar eerst wilde ze systematisch nagaan, wat haar tot excessief gebruiker van alcohol had gemaakt, alcoholist wilde ze zich niet noemen. Ze trok er een middag voor uit om te onderzoeken welke bijzondere gebeurtenissen vanaf haar vroege jeugd een rol zouden hebben kunnen spelen bij het ontstaan van haar drankprobleem.

Ze ging nauwkeurig te werk, schreef alles op, zodat ze een overzicht kreeg van moeilijke en ongewone periodes in haar leven. Ze dacht aan haar opvoeding, de dominante rol van haar vader in het gezin en de vroege echtscheiding van haar ouders, enerzijds een opluchting, en tegelijkertijd haar de kans biedend haar eigen gang te gaan, die ze gebruikte om de kantjes ervan af te lopen. Dat leidde op school en vooral in de pubertijd tot een wilde, chaotische tijd met vele wisselende relaties. Nu bedacht ze, dat ze nogal eens verkeerde keuzes had gemaakt, alles wat ze aanpakte was vluchtig en ongeconcentreerd en leidde uiteindelijk tot leegte in haar bestaan. Alcohol was hierbij niet weg te denken. Ze bleek in staat een reeks van jaren op dezelfde voet voort te kunnen gaan, misschien geholpen door een hoog intelligentieniveau. Nu moest ze de conclusie trekken dat het steeds vaker strompelen en vallen was geworden. Pas toen ze Sven tegen het einde van haar studie had ontmoet, en ze stevige gesprekken met elkaar hadden gevoerd, leek er een kentering in haar leven te komen. Ze begon zich te hernemen, werd hyperactief, wilde het verleden definitief achter  zich laten. Maar van het ene uiterste naar het andere uiterste bleek minder eenvoudig dan ze zich had voorgesteld. De drank kreeg opnieuw vat op haar. Maar met de hulp en toewijding van Sven, het vertrouwen, dat hij in haar bleef stellen, en de raad van een paar langjarige vriendinnen, durfde Sanne het nu aan professionele hulp in te winnen. Ze werd er zich van bewust, dat gebeurtenissen  in haar jeugd nog steeds haar bestaan bepaalden, en dat ze deze niet had verwerkt. Ze was de regie over haar leven al geruime tijd kwijt, maar  begreep, dat ze moest vechten om die terug te winnen!

 

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